Disinhibition & Pit Bull Haters?

The first famous case of someone allegedly losing their job from indiscreet remarks made online was in 2002. Heather Armstrong, author of the blog ‘dooce‘, claimed she was fired after her colleagues discovered she’d been lampooning them online.

In internet terms getting fired for a blog rant is ancient news; to make the headlines now your indiscretions have to be on Twitter or Facebook. One recent example was this girl who was ‘Facebook fired’ after she said exactly what she thought of her boss on Facebook after a bad day at work.

What she’d forgotten was they were Facebook friends, so the update would appear front and centre the next time he logged into Facebook. She might as well have said it straight to his face and, for good measure, kicked him in the shins.

These are two examples of what psychologists call the ‘online disinhibition effect’, the idea that when online people feel less inhibited by social conventions. Compared with face-to-face interactions, online we feel freer to do and say what we want and, as a result, often do and say things we shouldn’t.

Internet psychologist John Suler has written about six characteristics of the internet which lead to radical changes in our online behaviour (Suler, 2004):

1. Anonymity

Online people feel they can’t be identified in the same way they can when they’re in public. It’s similar to going out in a costume at night with a mask on to cover the face (see research on deindividuation). That sense of disconnection from our normal personality allows new ways of behaving. People may even consider their online behaviours to arise from an online alter ego.

Ironically, though, some people are far less anonymous online than offline. Because of the online disinhibition effect some share too much on their social networking profiles, sometimes even things they wouldn’t admit to their closest friends. It’s easy to forget that you don’t need espionage training to type someone’s name into Google.

2. Invisibility

Because others can’t see us online, we don’t have to worry about how we look to others and what emotional signals we are sending through facial expressions.

Imagine, for example, that you’re telling a friend about a distressing experience face-to-face. You may feel the urge to try and hide the depth of your emotion from them, which stops you telling the story. Online, however, you can continue to tell the story without giving away how bad it really is.

It can allow us to open up about things that we can’t discuss face-to-face. Online support groups rely on this openness to allow members to discuss their deepest hopes and fears. This is one of the potentially positive aspects of the online disinhibition effect, as long as users protect their privacy and identity.

3. Stop/start communication

Face-to-face we see people’s reactions to what we’ve said or done immediately. That tends to put us off upsetting them or risking their judgement.

Online there are no such restrictions: because of online asynchronicity it’s possible to say something and wait 24 hours before reading the response, or never read it at all.

This cuts both ways. So-called ‘internet trolls‘ are people who post to discussion forums or other online groups with the express purpose of stirring up controversy (known online as flame wars). They are experts in a kind of emotional hit-and-run. On the other hand, people who have difficulty when communicating face-to-face can become eloquent and courteous when online.

The majority of us probably fall somewhere in between these two extreme positions. Nevertheless the lack of instant feedback from other people’s body language causes all sorts of communication failures online. One of the most common causes of these failures is jokes. Without the accompanying body language, friendly jibes are easily misunderstood and interactions can quickly take a turn for the worse.

4. Voices in your head

The very act of reading online can create a surprisingly intimate connection. Because other people’s words are in our heads, we may merge them with our own internal monologues.

While humans have been reading novels and letters for centuries, these are relatively formal modes of communication, and it’s only in the last decade that online communication has brought the intimacy of a letter to informal, everyday conversation.

5. An imaginary world

The anonymity, invisibility and fantasy elements of online activities encourage us to think that the usual rules don’t apply. Like a science fiction escape fantasy, the net allows us to be who we want and do what we want, both good and bad.

The problem is that when life becomes a game that can be left behind at the flick of a switch, it’s easy to throw responsibility out of the window.

6. No police

We all fear disapproval and punishment, but this imaginary world appears to have no police and no authority figures. Although there are people with authority online, it’s difficult to tell who they are. There is no internet government, no one person in charge of it all. So people feel freer online: away from authority, social convention and conformity.

Of course the idea that authority doesn’t exist online is fantasy because the policeman exists inside all of us, to a greater or lesser extent.

net government, no one person in charge of it all. So people feel freer online: away from authority, social convention and conformity.

Of course the idea that authority doesn’t exist online is fantasy because the policeman exists inside all of us, to a greater or lesser extent.

Wing it

These factors work together to create a world in which we can feel freer. But this freedom is an illusion maintained by the online experience of invisibility, anonymity and lack of immediate, visceral, emotional feedback from others, or at least our ability to turn that feedback off.

Perhaps this is freedom: some people do report feeling closer to their real selves when online. But there’s a reason we developed all those social inhibitions in the old-fashioned, offline world. They stop us offending other people, which helps us keep our jobs and maintain our relationships. That’s not to say that the internet can’t help us build relationships with others or find jobs, it clearly can. It’s just that we tend to be less aware of both how much our behaviour can change online and the potential drawbacks to these changes.

Every now and then we need reminding that the internet is still a relatively fresh invention and, socially, we are still coming to terms with it. Long-established niceties of face-to-face behaviour haven’t yet taken hold online and, in the absence of precedent, we have to wing it.

Image credit: rego & lanier76

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Types Of Dog Haters

samthedogtrainer Articles, Law and Politics

Types Of Dog Haters

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There are several types of dog hater out there. These people will file false claims against your dog, fight for banning dogs from public and private life, harass you, and generally cause problems for all dog owners. All these types want to criminalize dog ownership.

The Phobic Hater

This person is irrationally afraid of dogs. Even so, they expect us to paddy cake their mental disorders in order to make them feel better. Always remember, the natural response to intense fear: FIGHT OR FLIGHT. These folks are mentally unstable, so they will either get away from you, or mount an unbelievably vigorous attack against your rights to own a dog. These people perceive an altered reality, and will imagine danger and offenses that never happened, but will testify, even in court, that they did.

Animal Rights Nut

They don’t believe in the domestication of wild animals. So, they don’t want you to own, breed or train your dog. Their positions are rooted in fanaticism. They can’t be reasoned with, so don’t even try. They have to be exposed for who and what they are. There have been a number of animal abuse cases linked directly to animal rights nutcases.

Anti-Social Nutcases

These egocentric people are anti-social when it comes to your dog. They typically hate dogs (and children). Their attitude is “it’s your dog, not mine.” There is a difference between people asking you to exercise personal responsibility, and asking you to kiss their rear ends just because they don’t like dogs. These people will nit pick every little thing your dog does. They study all the rules, and they like to get elected or appointed to committees that will determine your freedom to own your dog. 

These people are the first ones to call animal control or the police, and will claim danger and offenses that never happened, but will testify, even in court, that they did. Unlike the Phobic Hater, they don’t perceive an altered reality. They will lie and make things up to set you and your dog up for legal problems. They will try and ban dogs from housing, hiking trails, family cook outs, the workplace, beaches, any off leash areas, parks, etc. These people will not tolerate any audible dog barking. 

Dogs are going to bark, and we have to have reasonable rules to allow dogs to be dogs, and for dog owners to have a dog. But, the Anti-Social Nutcase will press for a zero tolerance rule on barking: they will fight you even if they far away from you. They will use the barking as an excuse to force you and your dog out of the neighborhood. These types are especially intolerant of noise of any kind, so will press for zero tolerance laws and enforcement of extreme dog barking laws (these laws are clearly inhumane: forcing barking cases into court, where dog owners are fined thousands of dollars, and made to cut out the vocal cords of their dogs by the judges.) 

These people will complain about your dog even if it lives blocks away from them. These are the types of wackos that will poison your dog to get rid of it. You will also see then walking the neighborhood with a stick (often a sharpened stick or walking cane so they can stab and injure a dog they have a grudge against). Many of theses types have an aggressive and violent nature. These people don’t want to be around your dog at all. Their mentality is “I don’t want a dog, and I don’t want yours around me, either.”

 These people are extremely self centered, DO NOT want to greet your dog in public, or even have your dog around, period. They figure dogs should live in the country (as if there are no people there). They are nosy, and will meddle in things that are none of their business. I have found many of these types to tend towards being cranky, hermit types. 

They figure that they should control and initiate all personal interactions, whether it is with dogs, kids, neighbors, businesses, or others. If you intrude into their world, uninvited, then they will be offended, and if they get it in their mind they need to “police” their neighbors and the dogs in their neighborhood, they will go after you and your dog. They want to teach you and your dog a lesson.”

The Opportunist

These are the political types that use dog issues to further their political careers. They don’t care one way or the other about dogs. They will pass restrictive dog legislation and rules for their own benefits. Every town has these types of individuals. I would also categorize most of the animal rights groups as opportunists.

The Cheapskate

These types resent it if tax dollars are allotted to providing park space specifically for dogs. They forget that dog owners are tax payers, too. They also don’t realize the benefits dogs have to human society.

Sam The Dog Trainer

Pit Bulls and Firearms

*sigh* DBO and Merritt(less) Clifton in the same spot. You know the ignorance is going to be through the roof.

There have been 29 deaths by dogs this year.

Guns?

Gun Violence in America

Every year in the U.S., an average of more than 100,000 people are shot, according to The Brady Campaign To Prevent Gun Violence.

Every day in the U.S., an average of 289 people are shot. Eighty-six of them die: 30 are murdered, 53 kill themselves, two die accidentally, and one is shot in a police intervention, the Brady Campaign reports.

Between 2000 and 2010, a total of 335,609 people died from guns — more than the population of St. Louis, Mo. (318,069), Pittsburgh (307,484), Cincinnati, Ohio (296,223), Newark, N.J. (277,540), and Orlando, Fla. (243,195) (sources: CDF, U.S. Census; CDC)

One person is killed by a firearm every 17 minutes, 87 people are killed during an average day, and 609 are killed every week. (source: CDC)

They site specifically ACCIDENTAL shootings on their little poster there. According to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence TWO PEOPLE A DAY DIE ACCIDENTALLY of gunshots on average. That’s in the neighborhood of SEVEN HUNDRED A YEAR.

Where did you people learn math?

Foolish Follies

The Psychology of a Hater

There is no industry where you hear talk about haters as often as in entertainment. Although there are true haters out there, too often, the word hater is used to justify our own failures, Is your music not gettin' play because of haters, or is your music sub-par? People fall back on hate when they lack the self-awareness to critique and improve.

Truth is, people confuse jealousy and envy with hate. People who are envious of us, don't hate us, they want what we have, or want to be where we are. But, if you don't address those that are envious of you, the jealousy can ferment into hate.

Haters don't start as haters. Hate has different phases. Opponents grow to enemies, enemies grow to those who have contempt for you, who grow to be the true haters. They impose their self-loathing on others. There is no reason in a true hater. As humans, we make the mistake of thinking we can fix people, that with enough love, even true haters will stop hatin'. They won't. True haters are sick people. Adolf Hitler was a true hater. There was no changing Hitler, he was beyond fixing.

How do you define a hater? List qualities of a friend. Look at that list. Haters won't possess the qualities you seek out in people. Sometimes we have friends that are constantly tearing us apart -- no constructive criticism, just negativity. Make that list, see if these so-called friends have any of the qualities you'd want a friend to have. Sometimes we confuse people who are around us, as friends. Friends don't hate, they honestly critique. Check yourself, don't surround yourself with haters.

Sometimes you hear people say, "You either hate me or you love me." Hate is not the opposite of love. Love and hate are more closely connected than we think, there just different sides of the same coin. When someone hates you they still deeply care about you. When you are doing good work, someone will love it, not everyone, but someone will. You gotta worry when no one cares enough to pay attention to you. When people don't love or hate you -- when people don't care enough to feel any way about you and what you are doing -- that's when you worry. Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.

Everyone remembers Kanye's 2009 MTV stint with Taylor Swift, as she's holding her award, he goes up on stage in protest for Beyonce. Everyone called Kanye a hater for that rant. But was he? Who is Ye? Kanye West is a regular guy who's successful in the industry, who hasn't shot anyone or sold drugs, but he is a black man. Public perception says a black rapper should have been locked up, sold drugs, be a gang banger, or at least, have shot someone before he got big. Kanye didn't do anything like that, yet he has moved through the industry in different ways and has been able to excel at the top of the game. Kanye makes people uncomfortable. People would rather be right and hate, than wrong and grow. Kanye doesn't fit public perception of a black rap artist, and for that reason he is "hated". Now, as for the MTV awards with Taylor Swift, Kanye wasn't hatin' he was being real in his critique. He had real reasons to say what he said -- but there is such a thing as timing, and when he interrupted the girl on stage, well it was simply bad timing.

The best way to tell a hater is: look at how they treat others and look at their actions. Don't think you are special. If they tear down and disrespect people they consider friends, and then smile in their faces when they come around, don't deceive yourself as though they won't be the same with you. I think the hardest thing for us as humans to do is accept people for exactly who they are. As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you their true colors, believe them." Hatred ultimately destroys the hater. Don't get tricked into thinking that you have to carry the burden of hate. The psychology of a hater is to impose their self-hate on others. It's not as much about you as it is about them. Don't take hate personally, because at the end of the day -- it just isn't. Don't look at hate as a reflection of yourself and your work, but don't use it as a crutch either. Take time to reflect and critique yourself and surround yourself with others who are honest enough to do the same. Now go get you some haters!

Follow Malik Yusef on Twitter: www.twitter.com/malikyusef

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