And what motivates a person to act like a victim instead of taking control of his life?
Before you can deal with people who play the victim role you first need to get a deeper understanding of their psychology and of the reasons that lead them to act that way.
Every behavior a person develops usually has a positive intention even if the person wasn't consciously aware of that intention. This means that some people could be playing the role of a victim because their subconscious minds is trying to fulfill a certain important goal through this behavior. (see Understanding people)
In this article i will you how to deal with people who play the victim role and how to understand their intentions behind it.
Why do some people play the victim role?
What kind of positive goal could the subconscious mind of a person be trying to reach by letting him act like a helpless victim?
One of the primary goals of the subconscious mind of a person is to protect his egoand make him feel good about himself. Whenever something threatens the person's self worth his ego protection mechanisms fire to prevent any damage from happening.
Playing the role of a victim is always there to protect the person's ego when he fails toreach his important goals. Instead of admitting that he failed to do what he wanted to do he plays the role of a victim and claims that external factors were the main reason he didn't reach his goals.
In order to deal with a person who plays the role of a victim you must first let him open up and talk about his past experiences. Through his words you will be able to find out exactly when and why was that defensive mechanism developed.
Dealing with people who play the victim role
In the Solid Self confidence program i said that the main goal of a defensive mechanism such as playing the role of a victim can be preventing the feelings of inferiority the person is feeling from surfacing.
Now there is a very important thing that you must put into consideration when dealing with people who play the victim role which is that any attempt to show them the truth will be opposed by great resistance. After all the person might have been acting like a victim for years in order not to feel inferior and he won't just give up right away if someone tried to show him the truth.
Its very common for a person who plays the role of a victim to not believe you if you confronted him with such facts and to even devalue you if necessary just to keep protecting his ego.
When dealing with a person who plays the victim role you need to be patient until you deliver him all of these facts and until he realizes that he was living in an imaginary world designed solely to protect his ego.
Once he becomes aware of this facts its time to help him set new goals and reach them in order to rebuild his self confidence without relying on such defense mechanisms.
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